North Korea Claims Kim Jong Un Mastered Automobiles At Age 3

In an absurd effort to make the new leader of North Korea into a god-like entity, the state is beginning a wave of absurdist propaganda to brainwash the population from cradle to grave about the great powers of their new leader. A new claim is that Kim Jong Un was able to master driving a car by the age of 3, and was able to speed along with rally type driving skills by the age of just 8! Whew, that's quite an accomplishment! Who knew that a three year old could see over a windshield, let alone feet reach the pedals at that tender toddler age.

Kim Jong Un just celebrated his birthday Sunday, and a new propaganda film was shown on state TV featuring him driving a tank and being praised as "a genius among geniuses". He was also elevated to a four star general by the military, although he personally has highly questionable military experience. The state also claimed that Kim Jong Un wrote his first thesis on military strategy when he was just 16, taking little time to eat or sleep, probably to make him appear somewhat like a figure like Moses. North Korea has the fourth largest military in the world.

In the future, Kim Jong Un's birthday will no doubt be elevated into a national holiday as the strict Stalinist Communist regime seeks to consolidate the hearts and minds of the population to overlook starvation and poverty and to believe in the all-powerful state and leader.