Christmas Gifts:The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

This time of year, I need to take a little break from all of the politics or economic gloom and doom stories, and write a funny little Christmas piece. And I thought about all the sad guys who should have started earlier buying Christmas gifts, but didn't. So I looked for a few suggestions out there what would have made great Christmas gifts if only you had a little more time and it wasn't the eleventh hour.

As a true Christmasy cheer type of guy, I've carefully looked for some of the most outrageously good and sometimes out-rightly strange and bad weird Christmas gifts that maybe you should have considered, or then again maybe not, to have given this year. And I've found a few worthy contender items to mention here for your laughter and amusement.

A motorscooter wholesaler USA SCOOTERS WHOLESALE is offering this very bizarre one wheel scooter that looks like a real problem to drive and not have a terrible life-threatening accident. Yet the design is certainly interesting, and will probably provide more than a few great video moments for a FACES OF DEATH video. Heck, for a few thousand dollars, it looks like a very strange toy to own. But where do you put the license plate on with all the rotation. And, hey, is that thing even street legal? The design certainly raises a number of important life and death questions.

Maybe Piranha fish taxidermy is more your idea of a cheery Christmas gift. A seller on Ebay is offering this insane gift for $20. Who would want to be left out not owning these. Didn't Tiny Tim in that Christmas story want some of these as a dying wish as well?

On the more sane side, but very pricey, is the Ridley Motorcycles Auto-Glide Trike priced at a mere $26,000. Interestingly, this way cool trike features a hefty V-Twin 750cc engine and a rad custom body design with nice big fat rubber on the rear. This looks like an ultimate toy here. And because all Ridley Motorcycles feature automatic transmissions, anyone can easily learn to ride one of their bikes if you just have the cash required to purchase one.

As I combed through Ebay wondering what the weird and strange gifts are and to be found, a seller sells you one square foot of a Scottish golf estate for a mere $34.00. By Scottish law you can become known as Laird, which is the Scottish equivalent of Lord. Alright. You own a foot of a golf course and are now a Scottish land "lord". Splendid.

Hey guys. if you have a bad lady in your life, TOP DATING TIPS, has a nice selection of the worst possible Christmas gifts to give that special lady in your life that you want to disappear. Among the top worst possible Christmas gifts are: Electrical appliances, Cleaning equipment, cooking utensils, a gift for yourself that you pretend is for her, cheap perfume, clothes, cubic zirconium jewelry, flannel lingerie and some last minute gift vouchers. However if you really want to clear the house but fast, then some anti-wrinkle cream or a gift certificate for Weight Watchers ought to really drive the coffin nails in any relationship that you now have. However, if you value your relationship, then you might want to heed the warning about the toxic value of the above bad gifts.

I can't really figure out what this guy was selling on Ebay. But of all places, he lives in Utah and there were 10 bids on it. But it would indeed make a very creepy Christmas gift.

Since I'm a vegan, I'm always surfing the Web for new vegan businesses, and I ran across the strangest vegan business that I've ever seen in my whole life that would offer some very strange Christmas gifts. VeganErotica, offers a strange collection of bondage and S&M sex toy gifts for that special kinky vegan in your life who is into hurting their lover, but not animals. What kinky vegan wouldn't love to wear a dog collar knowing full well that no animals were harmed in it's making. Interesting philosophy there indeed.

But if you like your relationship on the soft and romantic side, Pajama Grams offers some great overnight gift delivery items that come with some cute packaging and cards that send a message that you really care and are a closet romantic devil.

In short, there is a real wealth of gifts out there that you could have given if you started earlier that range from the real good to real bad. And if you didn't pick up something decent by now. then you're really in trouble if you think that 7-11 or the gas station store is going to have that special gift in stock for that special person in your life. God help you if you're in that sorry of shape. However, if you already picked out a great gift, and your Christmas shopping is all done, then you have nothing to fear, guys. All is well. You can rest easy.

Merry Christmas